10 Tips for Creating Gab’s Gift for Fun and Profit

Yes! We all know them. Those disgusting people who can get into any situation and seem to fit right into the conversation. They seem to be at home with any group and can turn a group of strangers into friends in no time. In fact, they can do it in the time it takes you and me to eat a couple of delicious sandwiches, drink a glass of punch, and vanish into wallpaper.

I guess it’s one of those things you’re born with or raised to do.

Or is that it?

Like many things in life, being able to feel comfortable around strangers, conversing about topics you know little about, and coming out on the other side with new friends or business contacts is a skill that can be learned. While being born with certain genes or raised a certain way can certainly help, you can learn to get around those supposed limitations, and you might even end up being better at doing so than those who seem to have an advantage over you. .

While entire courses and training programs could promise to turn the most vapid wallflower into a flourishing conversationalist and bon vivant, here are some tips to help you increase your “gift” of eloquence to the point where you too can join in. to the crowd. the corner and lecture wittily on the subject at hand…usually.

1. Start with who you are. Never pretend. If you are a gardener and the subject is rocket science, listen and learn. When the garden crowd rolls around, there’s YOUR chance to shine. You’re just not going to be the center of attention, or even a small source of wit and wisdom in every conversation.

2. Listen and learn. Since we mentioned it earlier, let’s explore this a bit. First of all, you can often appear wiser than you are by keeping your mouth shut. While it’s closed, listen to that rocket scientist. Maybe the dry technical details are out of your head, but he can say something that makes sense to you and you can use the information in a conversation later. He can pique his interest in the subject, and what better source of reference than to ask the expert speaker for his advice on how to learn more.

3. Be patient. We’ve already established that you don’t want to jump over your head and that you can benefit from the speech anyway. However, no matter how lofty the topic, any conversation can often veer into other more mundane topics, particularly if there are other people, like you, who don’t know anything about some highly technical topic.

4. Be curious. As mentioned above, asking a relevant question or even professing ignorance in the hope of enlightenment will generate sparks of familiarity with the speakers. More than once, I have seen various experts practically compete with each other in their attempts to simplify and communicate a difficult subject to someone who seemed genuinely interested. People like to have their egos stroked anyway, and giving them a chance to demonstrate their mastery of the subject, or asking for their opinion, can really get the juices flowing. In the midst of all this, you learn more, make new friends, and feel more comfortable within the group.

5. Admit mistakes and ignorance, accept blame, laugh at yourself. One of the easiest ways to put others at ease is to admit your own ignorance. When you start a statement or question by letting others know that you may not know what you’re talking about, they feel less “threatened” if that’s a good word. It is a tension switch in all directions when someone acknowledges their ignorance or error. Most people are inclined to forgive those who can admit their mistakes or lack of knowledge. They will also feel more comfortable if you can laugh at yourself.

6. Have a sense of humor. While many topics are serious and don’t allow much room for humor, most people in a conversation are generally open to humor as long as it’s not mocking or of the keystone cop variety. Of course, if the group is just breaking up, then break up with them.

7. Educate yourself. The essence of being comfortable in a group is knowing that you are as knowledgeable as anyone else there. While you may feel this way at work, where you are among peers, it can be very different at a party or on a date where your counterpart may be from some other field or social group. Keeping up with the basics about current events in the fields of politics, economics, sports, science, health, and entertainment gives you footholds to stand out from the crowd in many conversation spots.

It also helps keep up with the most popular books and movies of the day. Even if you can only read or watch one, and that’s NOT the one being discussed, at least you’ll have an idea of ​​what many other popular books (or movies or TV shows) of the day are about. , and possibly be able to ask rational questions, giving those who ARE familiar with the subject a chance to shine.

8. Get ready. While education, as mentioned above, is a daily process and may not go very deep, preparation can go much deeper. There are two ways this can make you a conversational powerhouse.

** Become an expert in a particular topic or area. It could be a hobby, or you could just find something that interests you that may be of interest to others. For example, if you were an expert on gemstones, politics, ancient coins, rare books, health, or fitness, there will be opportunities for you to reason wisely on your subject. If it’s a subject you’re passionate about, the depth of your feelings will often shape your presentation and speech in such a way as to leave an impression on your listeners.

** Study before the event if possible. If you’re going to be among investors, learn some investment terminology. If you have questions as you read that the books or tapes don’t seem to answer, save them. You may have a chance to ask a genuine (or so-called) expert.

9. Encourage others to speak. If Jane is commenting on a topic and seems to be coming to an end of it, encourage her to continue. She can simply say, “tell me more,” or she can ask a question as mentioned above. If Jane is standing in the crowd and you know she’s itching to say something, ask her something like, “Jane! Didn’t I hear you talk about that before?” Of course, if you have no idea what Jane is thinking, shut up and leave her alone.

10. Follow up. If the people are of interest to you, or if you want more information on the topics discussed, get names and numbers, ask for business cards, and bring some of your own. Call them later to tell them how much you enjoyed the conversation, invite them to join you for lunch or a cup of coffee, or send them a small gift that relates to the experience in some way.

A few months ago, I attended a presentation by an editorial writer for a local newspaper. In the process of presenting it, I realized that many of the points in it were similar, though not the same, to points in a book I had enjoyed. I chatted with him after the presentation for only a couple of minutes, but managed to ask if he had ever read the book. He admitted he hadn’t, but he seemed interested in it, even taking a moment to get a business card and writing the title of the book and the name of the author.

Later, when I was reviewing it on Amazon, I realized that I could send you a copy for a few dollars and so I did. A few days later, he contacted me, thanking me for the book. He and I have communicated occasionally since then, and he has offered encouragement and advice on my writing, even suggesting that he join a professional organization I didn’t even know existed.

One of the most important investments you can make in any “growth stock” is the quantity and quality of your personal and business contacts AND your friends. Life is much easier for those who have invested wisely and extensively in these. With a good list of friends and professional contacts, the next job is easier to find, the solution to the next problem is in your address book, the right contact is just a phone call away, and life is a truly pleasant passage.