Tell santa i tried to be nice
It is that time of year when the conversation around the table in the parsonage is about good or bad.
I must admit that it is not my favorite conversation because what is bad and what is good? It all depends on who you are talking to. The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage has a different definition of these words than mine.
According to my wife, the good has to do with the broccoli and the bad has to do with the apple fritter.
I’m afraid I disagree with this because as far as I’m concerned the good has to do with the apple fritter and the bad has to do with the broccoli. I’m not sure you can get any naughtier than broccoli. At least I can’t.
But at this time of year, the definition of mischievous and nice is determined by an overweight guy who lives at the North Pole and who abuses reindeer. If you think I’m going to listen to its definition, you don’t know me.
I don’t want Santa to determine if I’m mean or nice because I don’t trust that guy.
Why would I want to trust a guy who only works one day a year and lives somewhere in the North Pole the rest of the time? It is almost, but not quite, as bad as the politicians. But at least Santa works one day a year.
“So,” my wife began, “do you think you’ve been nice this year?”
As a husband of nearly half a century, I know a leading question when it comes up. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been misled by one of these questions.
“Well,” I stuttered, “how do you think the year went?”
He was willing to put it back on his shoulders and let her go with him. My wife is an expert in many things and, in particular, in interrogation. I am an expert in failing interrogations.
Throughout my life, I have learned that it is not what I think that really matters, but what other people particularly think of me. Not if I think I was nice last year, but my wife thought I was nice.
Very thoughtful, as she usually does when questioning me, she said, “Well, there was that incident earlier in the year about a lizard on my pillow.”
It was all I could do to hold back a laugh. I remember that incident very well in a St. Augustine motel. I can still see that lizard looking at my wife.
“You have to admit,” I explained, “that lizard was quite a nice creature.”
“If that’s your definition of nice,” he said firmly, “then it failed the test.”
I wouldn’t say this out loud so she could hear me, but that was a test that I enjoyed failing on.
After pausing for a moment or two, he said, “Then there is the incident about the error in my leg while driving.”
Although I tried to hold back any outward expression of laughter, it was out of my control.
“So you think it was good that that bug was on my leg, causing me to crash into the car in front of me?”
He had almost forgotten, but no one was injured in the incident.
“What does the good have to do with that kind of mistake on my leg?”
Then, to my surprise, she laughed too.
For some people, what is pleasant is not pleasant for other people. What is bad is not necessarily bad in someone else’s estimation.
All these things that caught my eye weren’t something I worked on. It was something that came without any influence on my part. My part was to laugh at the incident and enjoy it for the next few weeks.
When the room settled down, I finally raised my question.
“So,” I began, “do you think you’ve been nice this year?”
The tables had turned now and I wanted to press her with some of my interrogations.
I am not a good questioner, especially when it comes to matters relating to my wife. But I figured that since she brought it up, she would follow through with it and see where it would lead us.
He stared at me for quite some time and then said, “I think I’ve been too nice because I’ve given you so much material to write about.” Then he looked at me with one of “those looks.”
First, I didn’t really know how to take it. She was afraid her NICE was turning into her NAUGHTY, and she wouldn’t be able to handle that.
After a few moments of silence, he laughed. I was relieved, to say the least.
We enjoyed a few moments of shared laughter, which made our day very happy. As I thought about it, there was another pleasant aspect of our relationship.
That good aspect is that my wife is not a writer, or she would be in trouble.
Later that day, I thought about the Bible verse. “But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanses us from all sin” (1 John 1: 7).
Our relationship is not based on goodness or evil, but on the Lord Jesus Christ, our Savior.