The Dark Night of the Soul – 7 Things to Keep in Mind When Going Through a Transformation

While transformation is what we’re all doing here as we continue to express, expand, and live our lives purposefully and out loud, it’s not the most comfortable ride most of us thought it would be.

In fact, it’s downright rocky at times!

Michael Beckwith of the Agape International Spiritual Center, goes so far as to say “Sometimes transformation feels like annihilation,” so powerful are the forces of change.

Have you ever felt like this? As if you didn’t know who you were anymore, the identifiers that made your world safe, were gone, you woke up one morning and said “WHAT?” I didn’t sign up for THIS! But then you can’t go, come back? Does any of that sound familiar to you?

Are we in good company here?

Good, because here’s the deal: this is how it works.

Something has to be released for the new to take shape. That is the nature of transformation. It’s deep. And it takes time. It’s nothing less than bursting at our own seams of human limitations and figuring out who we are, outside the limits, and hanging out there until it becomes the new comfortable platform (until the next transformation).

But everything leads to this, quoting Michelangelo: “As the marble wears away, the statue grows.”

In other words, we must release what no longer serves us or what we have outgrown if we are to achieve our spiritual stature. There is no other way.

Now, when we’re in this phase, it feels dark. That is why spiritual communities refer to it as “The Dark Night of the Soul”. In fact, it feels like the moon is eclipsing the sun, because we can’t feel the heat or see the light. We are navigating a path we have not charted before, essentially, in the “dark.”

We feel uncomfortable outside of our game and not so willing to be there.

But if we look at nature and how the caterpillar makes its transformation into a chrysalis before being released into a butterfly, or how a fetus grows until it becomes a womb for nine months, we can recognize that this is the natural evolution of the forces of change.

Or think about this: The oak tree – tall, beautiful, expressive – existed in the acorn prior to turned into an oak. Such are the seeds of our potential. Transformation is what opens that seed for us.

So, in terms of transformation. If you’re in the middle of a “dark night” of your own, or asking yourself the “what the heck” question, here are a few things to consider:

1) This too shall pass. Everything that goes up has to go down. If we look at everything that nature has to teach us in the four seasons, spring appears again. Always.

2) Abandon the NEED to understand. While you are in transition, you may very well NOT know what you are doing. So don’t expect to know what it all means. Just take the next logical step and move on to the best of your ability. Check in with yourself more often and trust where you are being led. Sometimes, in times of change, it’s helpful to engage in some creative activity because it gives you an outlet to make the “intangible” tangible, shape the formless, and satisfy the rational mind that wants to take control.

3) Get more rest. Like the caterpillar in its cocoon, hibernation is common at times of transition. Not wanting to interact with people much or even having the energy to be as outgoing as usual is perfectly logical. I just know it’s not forever, it’s just for now. And now it is transitory.

4) Stay away from judgment and try not to set big goals for yourself. When you are going through a transformation, it is an opportunity to go in and reevaluate. Sometimes great strides are made during times of transformation, but surprisingly they come as a result of “surrender” and not as a result of massive “action.” This is the moment of liberation.

5) Look up the answered prayer. Sometimes transformations come like answered prayer. When you pray for strength, you get opportunities that will make you stronger. When you pray for love, you get opportunities to love more deeply (even if it’s about yourself). When you are unhappy in a relationship, naturally, by living it, you are asking for something better. If you are making a living in a way that is incompatible with your passion, you are asking for something more. You may not be consciously praying. By simply living life, you are bringing out your desires for something greater. So when you hit rock bottom in an area, ask yourself: How do you answer this prayer? What am I called to let go, reevaluate or acknowledge? Where am I being called to grow? And surrender to these answers and know that the works of change are present. Remember: Caterpillar. Chrysalis. shapeshifter butterflies

5) Work with a coach or therapist to help you navigate through the change. There are exercises you can do that will help you with clarity and direction. If you work with someone, interview them. Make sure they have done their own work so they are helping from a place of knowledge.

6) Increase your awareness and spiritual practice. Take a step forward. Perhaps now is the time to maintain a consistent meditation practice or take more time to commune with nature. Do yoga. Breathe. Your connection to yourself IS your connection to God and staying close to that will help you take advantage of the big picture.

7) Remember that although your hand may be covering your eyes blocking you from the sun, temporarily shielding you from its light, it does not mean that the sun does not exist.

In other words, cats think that if they can’t see you, you can’t see them. Do not think for one minute that because you do not feel connected to the Universe (God, Source, Divine Being) during this time, the Universe is not connected to you.

The power source IS who you are. Source Energy IS what you are made of. The source of energy IS your natural heredity.

It is simply going through a transformation to be able to claim more of YOU. And more you will claim. On time.

Remember, the pot of gold is always at the END of the rainbow. And despite a dark night, the sun always shines again.