Breathalyzers – I don’t trust them!
Does anyone really want an oral robot to decide their fate? I certainly don’t. Also, breathalyzers are prone to making various mistakes. For one thing, breathalyzers have a 30% misread rate. Given this fact, it is neither unfair nor far-fetched to say that three out of ten people arrested for a DUI are not really broke. Breathalyzers cannot tell the difference between ethyl alcohol and methyl alcohol found in common foods and beverages. Several other factors that I will illustrate throughout this article also contribute significantly to the test and could land you in jail if you are a speeder.
Do you like donuts? I know what I do. A fluffy glazed donut can make you smile instantly. Guess what? Glazed donuts contain an ethyl alcohol level of 02% after cooking. This is the same type of alcohol that lights up the nose of that robot that is hit in the face during DUI tests. Assuming someone has just finished a box of these delicious treats, they will most likely blow the breathalyzer when tasting them. Although it would be extremely easy to pull off a cop / donut prank, I prefer to go the right way in this one. As shocking as it may be, this is just one of many foods and drinks that contain some form of ethyl and methyl alcohol.
If there’s one thing that complements donuts and coffee, it’s cigarettes. I smoke a lot, which means if I get tested for DUI, I may be out of luck. Breathalyzer test for ethyl and methyl alcohols, but they also test the molecular structure of methyl. Acetaldehyde is a molecule found in the liver and pumped into the lungs. The amount of acetaldehyde found in a person’s lungs varies, but studies have shown that smokers have a greater accumulation of this molecule than non-smokers. Given how much I smoke, I’m sure my lungs are a regular place for this agent. Did I mention that breathalyzers add acetaldehyde with methyl alcohol?
Let’s review here. I love baking and smoking. There are levels of ethyl and methyl alcohol found in common foods, as well as in the cigarettes that I smoke on a daily basis. I did not even mention how temperature conditions, humidity or dirt could contribute to the failure of a breathalyzer. Odds are good that if I took a breathalyzer test right now, I would fail. They can’t arrest me while I’m sitting on my couch, but that won’t help when I’m smoking in traffic.