How Candice Bergen changed my life
In a recent interview, actress Candice Bergen opened up about how her beauty and the way others react to her challenged her personal development, as no one seemed to care much what she thought or their opinions. They were too dazzled by her face.
I can relate. Candice was a year ahead of me in the all-girls high school we both attended, and believe me, even then her beauty was “stunning.” She was beautiful at an age when others were gangly, pimple, and graceless. She carried herself with a poise and maturity that eluded the rest of us, even when we tried to cultivate it by walking in circles with books on our heads. To top it off, Candice was designated our “May Queen” for the school’s traditional spring party, the envy of all.
It never occurred to me to look past Candice’s beauty to see who was home inside. I assumed that she must be everything that I was not and she longed to be: witty, composed, elegant, etc. I certainly never thought that she lacked any personal or social qualities.
Which got me thinking: In this strange year of political divisiveness and COVID “to mask or not to mask, to vaccinate or not to vaccinate,” how often have I looked beyond whatever opposing viewpoint someone might have, to heart and mind? human who lies within them? Hardly ever! I’m ashamed to say that, because I know better. However, like everyone else, I can be, and have been, blinded by a contrary opinion. That has to change.
Because how can we achieve peace, the ability to negotiate and find pleasant solutions for most of us, if we get stuck on one aspect of a person? Candice’s beauty is just one aspect of her whole person. My political stance, her political stance, is just one aspect of all of us. The same applies to our gender preference, our religious preference, dietary choices, and so on.
We can all agree that 2020 has been a stressful year and perhaps that stress has spilled over into our relationships.
So maybe in this New Year, we can do our best to see, really see, the whole person in front of us, and not dismiss/devalue them based on one or two things we don’t appreciate. I, for one, thank Candice for this profound lesson and look forward to seeing others through different, more compassionate and understanding eyes in 2021.