I threw out my unfaithful husband, should I feel guilty about this?

Every once in a while, I hear from women who are being judged for their reaction to their husband’s cheating. Many wives really don’t want to be around their husband immediately after the infidelity is discovered, so they ask him to leave for a while.

Of course, when this news is published, there will be people who will have something to say about it or have an opinion about it. And this can make the wife guess at her decision or wonder if she acted hastily or harshly.

She might ask, “Should I feel guilty for kicking out my unfaithful husband? I found indisputable evidence that he was cheating on me. I hung around after this and then tried to figure out what I wanted to do. I considered calling him at work and confronting him, but he didn’t. I dared to do it. So, I realized that he would be coming home any minute. I still didn’t want to face him, so I put his clothes in garbage bags and left a note attached to him on the garage door. I told him I didn’t want to. to set foot in our house for a while. I was surprised that he read the note and then left. He didn’t try to change my mind. But he went directly to his mother. And he told her everything. She called me and I didn’t answer. But he left a message saying that I should be ashamed of myself for kicking my children’s father out of his own home. He said I should have handled this like an adult and not a child. I asked some friends about this. Although a couple of them said how I had nothing to be ashamed of, some of them said that I should have listened to what my husband had to say before making the quick decision to kick him out. Who has the reason? Should a wife feel guilty when she throws out her unfaithful husband? “

Everything I say (or write in this case) will only be my opinion. And as you’ve seen from the response you’ve received, everyone seems to have an opinion when you’re going through a situation like this. But I would say that only the opinion of a few people really matters. Your opinion is what matters most. And your therapist’s opinion should matter too. But beyond that, I’m not sure you need to worry too much about what other people think.

It’s not you who cheated. Her husband made the decision to cheat. And this, through no fault of your own, left you with a decision to make about your marriage. He was probably motivated by anger and shock when he wrote that letter. But I’m not sure anyone can blame you for its content.

My opinion on this is that you have the right to decide what you want and what you do not want to move forward. After all, it is your marriage and you have to live with the consequences. I believe that if there are children involved, you do not necessarily have the right to negatively affect a child’s relationship with his father. The relationship between your children and their father is not your relationship.

I always felt that it was best for my children to nurture a healthy relationship with their father, regardless of what was happening with our marriage. That is why I always kept our marital problems completely separate from her relationship with her children. It was always clear to me that my husband was a great father.

There was a short period of time when I asked my husband for some time and space. However, he had an open door policy when it came to our children. I didn’t feel guilty about needing space from him. I didn’t feel guilty that he temporarily stayed elsewhere. I would have felt guilty if she had kept her children from her, but this was not the case.

It’s probably obvious by now that I believe you have the right to make your decisions without feeling guilty, as long as the decisions you make have to do with your marriage and not with your relationship with other family members.

I also know that often, as the anger wears off, you will sometimes reevaluate these decisions. At the time my husband and I were taking a break, I never thought that one day I would be able to revisit my marriage and be open to trying to save things, but that’s what I did.

However, at first I did not want to be around my husband and needed time to process the events that were happening. He understood this, although I’m sure some of his friends didn’t hold me in high regard at the time. And what, however? It is nobody’s business but the people directly involved in the marriage. My husband understood that his decision to cheat was the reason for my decisions and actions. If I had never cheated, nothing would have changed.