Make lists to help cope with the death of your loved one

“Everything changes when you change.”
jim rohn

Creating a written plan for accomplishing a major task or coping with a massive life change is a prerequisite for maximizing success. All the pros tell us the same thing: put it on paper so you can track progress and make adjustments when needed. Doing our complaints work is no different.

And how do we achieve the objectives? The answer is to develop new habits that help us deal with change. Habits are an extremely important part of every life. They govern so many things we do every day. Repetitive behaviors become habits.

Now that we cry, the development of new habits is essential to face the future. Having a written plan makes it easy to create habits. Lists of what is needed for new behaviors and thoughts will provide a concrete path to follow each day. Here are several lists to consider.

1. The “to do” list. This may be the most common list recommended by anyone who wants to help us organize our thoughts and accomplish some of the essentials for dealing with complaints. It is especially important when we are in mourning as our sadness also brings with it great confusion. It’s easy to forget things that need to be done. Prepare it the night before for the next day. Use a calendar to detail appointments and other meetings that are several days apart.

2. The Balance List. Balancing the stress of grief with self-care is a critical coping response. Make a list of activities you have enjoyed in the past and those you still do. Whenever you find something you’ve enjoyed for a while, add it to your list. Then be sure to participate in one of their nice balancing activities each day. Activities in which you are alone or with others count, as long as they give you a sense of release and peace. Loneliness does you good in low doses.

3. The Gratitude List. This is where you begin to examine all that you have accomplished and all that you overcome each day. Emphasizing being grateful for things that are taken for granted can have a powerful impact in bringing calm to our search for meaning after a great loss. If you want peace of mind, start a daily gratitude list and realize that you have made progress.

At the end of each day, review what happened and what you want to acknowledge as “I’m glad it happened.” Put it on the list and add it each day. Continue to think in terms of the attitude of gratitude as a coping response and something you can use for the rest of your life. As time goes on and this list grows, use it to remind yourself of all your successes.

4. The gift list. There is a universal coping strategy that has been proven time and time again to lead you out of deep pain and into the next rich chapter of life. It is simply about learning to be a kinder and more generous person even during grief. It never fails to enrich the bereaved and help them through the most difficult times. The key is to develop a “caring self-image,” seeing yourself as the good person you were created to be, regardless of your past experiences.

There are always others who need something that you have the ability to give. Think carefully about your list of gifts: a smile, a thank you, a shirt or blouse, a sympathetic ear (even while crying), an “I love you”, a special photo, an open door, a dessert, a sincere message. fulfilled, and so on.

5. The Memory List. Loving memories and the kindness they represent are constant grief tools always ready to be remembered and bathed in. Start listing the memories of your loved one that you want to make permanent in your mental life. They can be old or recent memories depending on how they make you feel. Also, list new love memories since your loved one’s death. What was said? Where did it happen? Get all the details in writing and on paper so you can instantly remember them and share their powerful energy.

If time allows, review the loving memories of your life and add them to your list. Go back to your childhood and your happy and eventful memories to begin the process.

6. The forgiveness list. Forgiveness is an extremely powerful healing strategy. Why? Because without it, all your capacity to love and be kind is compromised. At the top of this list should be you, specifically all the things you haven’t forgiven yourself for doing or not doing, including the ones you’ve labeled as failures. Write down each one of them and every morning look at the list and what you will forgive yourself today. I cannot stress enough how important it is to forgive yourself and prevent limiting beliefs from stressing you out. Get rid of these emotional scars. You’re a good person.

Next on the list should be the people you hold a grudge against and haven’t forgiven. They can be people who said the wrong thing at the wrong time, who didn’t help you when you needed it, or who hurt you at different stages of life. Get rid of all these burdens by forgiving. Sit quietly, look at each person in their thoughts, and say the words, “I forgive.”

7. The shopping list. “Wait,” you say. “Why do I need to make a shopping list?” Simply because the vast majority of mourners, due to the stress of loss, regress from consuming quality food and drink. Many increase their intake of caffeine and mood foods and decrease essential nutritional elements. The result is dehydration, eventual illness, loss of energy, and increased isolation.

Be sure to put two things on every shopping list: spring water and some type of protein. Both are crucial for good brain function. A handful of protein (which isn’t a huge serving) is essential for each of the three meals, especially breakfast. Green fruits and vegetables are essential. Drink some water as soon as you get to the kitchen in the morning before you eat.

In short, the very act of writing is a helpful coping response. Add and cross off items on your lists as you manage them. You can use a single notebook to hold all your lists or put them on separate sheets of paper. Check them daily, starting with your “to do” list. If you feel overwhelmed by writing too much, start with the two or three lists that you feel are most important to your well-being or have deep personal meaning. Then gradually expand to other areas of interest in the coming days and weeks.