Relationships: Why would someone feel suffocated every time their partner expresses their needs?

If someone is in a relationship, there will be needs that they want their partner to fulfill and there will be needs that their partner will want them to fulfill. And while some of your needs will be different, chances are some of them will be the same.

Both of you will likely have a need to be seen and heard, supported, encouraged, accepted, respected, appreciated, and to feel safe. There will then be a need for affection and the physical needs they have, among other things.

Other moments

Sometimes you or your partner may find that a certain need, or number of needs, is stronger than usual. As a result of this, they will expect much more from the other person than they would otherwise.

What this might show is that one of them is under a lot of pressure and therefore needs a lot of support. For example, one of them may have started a new job or received bad news.

making it clear

However, although one of them may realize that their partner needs more support, for example, there may be times when it is not clear to them. During these moments, it will be essential that they make it clear.

The reason one of them might not notice is because they might be going through a tough time themselves, making it difficult for them to realize that something is not right. The stress they are under could mean that they are not as in tune with their partner as they usually are.

Part of life

Then when they talk, there will be no need for one of them to blame the other and for unnecessary drama to arise. Due to the stress they are already under, they are unlikely to want to create more.

The level of understanding that one of them shows to their partner during this time could be the same as the level of understanding that their partner shows to them at those times. After all, they are both imperfect human beings doing their best.

other item

This is not to say that neither of you will tolerate bad behavior, but rather that you will make an effort to understand each other. Ultimately, they will be able to listen with both their hearts and their heads.

When you listen with your heart, you will empathize with the other and let go of your critical mind and your need to be right. This will make it easier for them to really hear what the other person is saying.

another reality

Now, while some people will generally have no problem whenever their partner expresses their needs, there will be others who will have a different experience. For someone like this, this could be something that is often difficult for them to deal with.

Your partner may then express a need and you may end up feeling frustrated and/or angry. Also, they could tell their partner that they are needy and make them need to change their behavior.

a reaction

After hearing this, your partner may end up feeling rejected and may come to believe that you are expecting too much. If so, they may ignore certain needs or look to someone else to fulfill them.

If they ignore certain needs, they may find that their mental and emotional health begins to suffer. And, if they end up looking for someone else to meet, their existing relationship is likely to suffer.

What is happening?

If you feel frustrated and/or angry every time your partner expresses certain needs, it can show that you feel overwhelmed and as if your boundaries have been crossed. This may mean that they feel suffocated when their partner expresses a certain need.

Then one will feel that they have no control and that their partner is too much for them. However, as one is an adult and can make it clear if something is too much, one could say that there is no reason for him to feel that way.

wide open

Considering how they feel, it is as if they are a helpless child who has no control over what happens to them. If they could take a step back from how they feel, they might find that this is exactly how they feel and that they see their partner as a father figure.

What this may illustrate is that when your partner expresses a certain need, an old wound is triggered. In other words, they will end up going back to an earlier stage of their life.

back in time

When they were dependent and powerless children or before this time, they may have had at least one caregiver who lacked boundaries and lacked the ability to adapt to their needs. Consequently, this would have been a time when they regularly felt suffocated.

This caregiver may have looked to them to meet a number of their own needs, rather than being there to meet their needs. Having this experience, one would have come to associate reaching out to others with being overwhelmed and losing oneself.

Awareness

Many, many years will have passed since they were little children, but what happened will still have an impact on their lives. This may be due to the beliefs that were formed and the trauma that they experienced.

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If one can relate to this and is ready to change their life, they may need to seek outside support. This is something that can be provided with the help of a therapist or healer.