Solutions for a rebellious child

This is a question that thousands of parents face every day. There are many solutions to this problem; some have proven to be successful and some have not. As a Christian writer and mother of three children, I will share an option that really works; (it worked in our house) therefore it is not a theory, it is a proven solution to the problem of rebellion. I had to learn these lessons the hard way, but luckily I learned them in time to fix the rebellion problem when my children were young.

When and where does the rebellion begin?

The rebellion at home starts slowly but gains momentum as it continues. Like a snowball, it starts with a handful of snow first; but as it rolls down the hill, that innocent little snowball gets bigger and bigger. You may be looking at a child who is rebellious and wondering how this happened when yesterday seemed so good. It wasn’t just since yesterday; the rebellion takes place over time. Rebellious actions and attitudes may not have been referred to as rebellion until they got out of control and the whole world was affected.

With your son, think for a minute… when did the rebellion start? I’ll use the Cute Puppy story to help you identify when it might have started.

the cute puppy

Position yourself as the mother in this story: Once upon a time there was a stray puppy that knocked on your door, and because it was so cute you gave it food. The next day this cute puppy with sad eyes comes to the door and this time you let your kids feed it. On the third day, the cute puppy doesn’t look so sad anymore, now he wags his tail because he knows that he has found a friend. On the fourth day you feed the cute puppy and let him in for a nap.

One little thing had been overlooked: the family “no pets in the house” rule. Her husband had requested that the family establish this rule after a new sofa had to be purchased because the family dog ​​had soiled the old one. The dog had already died, but the rule had been forgotten. On the fifth day the cute puppy comes to the door wagging his tail and this time you let him in to eat, nap and play for a while. After all, he’s so cute and kids have so much fun… what could be wrong with having him for a while? After an hour or so you say, “We have to get the puppy outside before your dad gets home.” “Oh, Mom,” the children cry, “let him stay a little longer; he’s so cute and we’re having so much fun.” You agree to let him stay a bit longer by saying, “Just if you don’t let him on the couch, remember how your dad feels about it.” “Okay, we won’t,” the children say.

But no matter how cute a puppy is, it’s a puppy, and a puppy will do what puppies do. As the games continue, the puppy jumps on the sofa to catch a ball. “Mom, come see how he jumps to get the ball.” Children cry: “He is the cutest puppy.” But before anyone could stop him, you got it right, he lifts his cute little leg up and… oh no, what do we do? Dad would be home any minute and the couch was wet and the living room smelled like dogs.

You have a great idea: “Okay kids, we’ll go out to dinner and call someone to come clean the couch while we’re gone.” This seemed to be a good way to deal with the problem. Dad doesn’t get mad, you’re free, the kids are happy, and the cute puppy still has a home.

What really happened that day?

A seed of rebellion was planted.

Children were taught that it is okay to break a family rule.

They learn to disrespect dad, and that his requests don’t really matter.

They learned that if something feels good and is fun, just do it.

They learned to find a way out of problems.

They learned to cover things up, what dad doesn’t know won’t hurt him.

Another example of how the rebellion starts:

Rebellion is like a small seed, it is planted in tender soil and then it begins to grow. You may not notice the seed is growing until one day it sprouts from the ground. He may not take the time to do anything about the little weed or the little lie his son told him about where he went after school. But just like the little grass in the flower garden, if it is not pulled up, it continues to grow. As the weeks and months go by, the little lie and the little weed grow and no one notices. One day you may look out the window and see that the weeds have grown into a tree and the son is no longer coming home. As a step? Just yesterday everything was fine. No, it takes time for a weed to grow into a tree and it takes time for rebellion to grow into a child. When the rebellion has not been addressed in the early stages, the results are very predictable. Proverbs 29:15 says: “A child left to himself will greatly embarrass his father and his mother.”

Your son is like a garden and what is planted will sprout or come out. Start today by weeding the flower garden. Watch what comes out of your child’s mouth. Are they weeds or beautiful flowers? I would consider the mocking and disrespectful words of a child as weeds. When these weeds first appear, simply pull them out by saying, “That’s unacceptable.” Apply Proverbs 29:17 and correct them. When correction is given correctly, out of love, God assures him in Proverbs 23:13-14, that he will save his son from future destruction. So do your homework; find out how the seed was planted in the first place and eliminate the source of the problem. As a parent, you have God-given authority.

Bad seeds come from several sources:

Today’s TV shows and movies are filled with violence, sex, and deceit. The friends your children hang out with are a very strong influence and need to be carefully monitored. And just like in the Cute Puppy story, the way parents cover things up can also plant a seed of rebellion.

If you have a rebellious child, take action today!
Go to the source, remove the influence, and don’t wait until the weeds become trees. You can pull a weed with two fingers when it first appears. If you wait until the brush grows into a tree, it will take a lot more effort because a tree requires heavy equipment to dig up. The two fingers are the mother and the father, both getting involved and working together. Both must take responsibility for correcting the problem.

This method of dealing with rebellion when it starts has worked in our home. Our children are now 24, 20 and 16 years old. We dealt with little weeds when they first sprouted when they were young, and we’ve never had to deal with teenage rebellion. If you have a rebellious child, there is hope; but it must start with you, the parent. God honors the position of father and when you cry out to Him in humility repenting of your mistakes, He will hear your cry and help you. Repentance will restore the authority you may have lost in your child’s life.