The ten most important things to know about grief
Tort is an integral part of life and living. Everyone suffers, although not everyone dies. That is, not everyone makes their complaint public. They have been taught to keep it to themselves because it is too personal.
Consequently, silent tort tends to perpetuate many myths and falsehoods that already exist. Here are 10 things to know about tort that will eliminate some of the cultural misrepresentations that often cause unnecessary suffering.
1. Grievance is the normal human response to the loss of a person, object or ideal. The emphasis here is on the normal. Today, there are still many who believe that wrong is a sign of weakness. In fact, it is a necessary process that leads to acceptance of what has happened. If you choose to love, you automatically choose to grieve.
2. Everyone grieved. No one is immune to the complaint response. If there is an emotional investment in a loss item or the person who died, the survivor will grieve. And there will be a change in the identity of that person because a part of the person has died. Every emotional relationship is different and is based on the individual characteristics of the survivor, the person who died, and the way they interacted.
3. People don’t always get depressed or experience guilt or anger when they are grieving. Although it is common to experience one or all of these emotions, some people experience none of them. This is due to your belief system, the nature of the relationship with your loved one, and the type of death that took place.
4. We grieve over many things besides the death of a loved one. Tort can occur wherever emotional investment is present. Divorce, imprisonment, losing or moving a home, losing a pet, moving a friend, or losing any important item are causes of grievance for some.
5. There are as many styles of grief as there are lifestyles. Grief is very individual. Therefore, a lack of crying or other display of emotion is not an indicator of pain that a person may be experiencing. There are many gender differences in mourning. We need to be aware that we are all influenced by our adult patterns of grievance at an early age and grieve in our own way. Sometimes what we learn about grievance from adults increases suffering and inhibits the normal grievance process.
6. Every time we grieve over a major loss, there are secondary losses that need to be acknowledged and grieved. Secondary or associated losses accompany all major losses. While death brings the loss of a loved one’s physical presence, it can also bring the loss of financial stability, a house or apartment, a car, dreams of the future with the loved one, or a source of wisdom, companionship, or sexuality. expression. Each of these losses needs to be acknowledged and grieved. Some secondary losses occur months or years later.
7. Many grieving people have an Extraordinary Experience (EE). Extraordinary Experiences are a variety of spontaneous events that occur in which the bereaved person is convinced that they have received a sign or message from the deceased loved one. They range from dreams of visits, visions, or hearing the loved one to feeling presence, feeling a touch, or experiencing unusual synchronicity. Do not deny the person the comfort of these events.
8. The complaint is revisited. It is not uncommon for the grievance to resurface months or even years later with great intensity. A very sad memory can be recalled, stimulated by a particular experience that is not directly related to the loved one. Or an anniversary, a birthday, or a graduation can cause sadness and the return of the grievance. Again, this is normal and the emotional response should be waited and allowed to develop.
9. The complaint has no time limit. After a month or two, many people expect death to move on and get over the loss. This is highly unrealistic in most cases. Since grievance is a highly individual process, it follows that the amount of time to do grievance work will vary. For one person it can take months. For another it may take years. If you are grieving, don’t rush to do the grievance work.
10. Wrong is one of the natural consequences of love. When you love, as most people do, pain is inevitable when the object of your love is no longer there. However, love never dies, as we will always have a relationship with the person who died, and that relationship can be nurtured through commemorations, new traditions, and memories at family celebrations.