What every parent should know about raising children abroad

I have spent a significant part of my life as a member of an immigrant family. In this time I have observed some things that many immigrant parents seem to ignore completely. Today, I will share with you three things that every immigrant parent should be aware of and therefore have a strategy to address.

1) Marketing and media have more influence by default

The nature of the typical immigrant family is that most of the time, the parents are at work and their children are at school and/or at work. This means that most of the time they are separated. Right now, your child will be bombarded with thousands of marketing messages a day. On top of that, your child’s mind will be fed by all kinds of media, including TV, movies, music, and podcasts. What this means is that, at the end of the day, the child is much more likely to listen to the advice of a music record company salesman than to you, who they see and hear much less of. Create a plan and strategy to take up as much headspace as marketing and media noise. And remember, you’re up against the most sophisticated marketing and media organizations in human history, so be militant and tenacious about it.

2) Your child’s peer group is your child’s future

Since time immemorial one thing has never changed. Look at a young man’s peer group and you can probably predict his fate. We are social creatures who always seek approval from others, especially our perceived peers or people we respect and admire. Young people greatly respect and admire their peers and want them to reciprocate. As a result, they will conform to their friends’ norms, standards, beliefs, and behaviors. If you don’t like where your child’s peer group is taking him, help him become part of another social world.

3) The cultural norms of the country in which you live in Matter

There’s a joke by comedian Russell Peters about how he practiced disrespecting his Indian parents because that’s what he was taught to do by a white boy. Far from being just a joke, this is a deep and fundamental truth. The fact that he has left his country of birth to immigrate sends a very clear message to his son.

“You think your new host country is superior to your home country in some way.”

This underlying message makes them much more likely to observe and imitate the behavior of the people of the country. Whether it’s as subtle as a change in accent or affecting the way you and your child relate, take a look over the hedge at how your neighbor relates to your children—it could explain why he keeps clashing with yours.

Keep these three factors in mind, and you’ll be better equipped to help your children thrive.