You have exactly the love life you want

The other night I was watching one of my favorite movies, The Wedding Date. There’s a line at the end of the movie that I’ve always found interesting. I’m not sure if I have it verbatim, but this is close, “Everyone has exactly the love life they want.”

There are many ways to interpret this simple premise.

That if we have settled into a relationship for whatever reason, we have done so even though we may feel we deserve or want better, but what we have is the best we can do.

What if we know that we want more love, affection, passion, etc. in our relationship, we are too afraid to go after it.

Letting go of guilt and obligation negates our desire for a more rewarding love life.

That we lack faith, courage, or confidence in the future that what is in our best interests is in front of us if we will only accept it.

I’ve been there and I can tell you that waiting is useless. Life happens to us every day and one day you can look back and wish you had done something different sooner.

I am not talking here about leaving long-term relationships without some work. Relationships aren’t easy, never have been and never will be, but this doesn’t mean they can’t be based on affection, passion, appreciation, support, belief, love and nurture. Too many couples are lacking in many of these ingredients and one or both partners suffer silently in their own inner prison day after day, always hoping and wishing.

If you’re in a relationship that lacks respect, unconditional love, total acceptance, passion, and intimacy, it might be time to consider the trade-offs or benefits versus the drawbacks of staying. But, before you go too fast, you might want to consider that wherever you go, there you will be. In other words, you have to bring yourself into every relationship. So before you jump ship, you might want to ask yourself, how am I contributing to the current state of my relationship?

I have met few people who have lived in marital bliss for 40 years or more. Everyone faced their challenges, but in the end, if you are not a “team or association” embracing all of the above qualities, you may be living a lie and too afraid or insecure to change.

Life is too short to live it without receiving and giving love.

There are no benefits for settlement. So you currently have the love life you want. Do you want something better? First ask yourself why and if your answers are based on common sense, survival or emotional well-being and your internal guidance system tells you to go, then go and trust the process of your life.

If your inner guidance system tells you to say, then start doing what you can to make your current relationship rewarding, fun, respectful, loving, and intimate. But either way, when you reach your later years, whatever your decision, you will have no one to blame for your life but yourself. Are you ready for that responsibility?