You need to know why complaining and mourning are very, very different.
Do you think that grievance and mourning are the same experience? Do you use the two terms interchangeably? Actually, most of the authorities in the complaints process point out a very important and main difference between the two.
Grievance is commonly defined as the process of experiencing a variety of physical, psychological, social, and behavioral reactions to some type of loss. Loss comes in two categories: psychosocial loss (divorce, death of a loved one, loss of consciousness, etc.) and physical loss (wallet, body part, car, etc.). Seen in another way, changes of all kinds hurt us.
On the other hand, mourning is the critical expression of the grievance towards the outside world. It is a publicly exposed grievance, which has been externalized from the inside of the heart to the outside. And that is a highly therapeutic process for everyone to go through.
What can you do with this seemingly insignificant information if you are dealing with the death of a loved one or providing support to someone else grieving loss? Consider the following implications.
1. It is critical to go public with your grievance to the people you choose and grieve according to your schedule. This action will reduce feelings of isolation, provide emotional release, and begin the movement necessary to actively adjust to the loss. This unique factor of sharing complaints has been known and practiced for a long time, although it is still not fully exploited by most.
2. Seek alternative methods to find relief from the stress and anxiety that is the normal response to the anxiety of the grievance. Write it out. Draw it. paint it. Stepping Out. Play around (yes, it’s completely normal to periodically break out of the gripping stranglehold). Most importantly, don’t miss the opportunity to cry.
3. Accept the inescapable fact that pain is the ransom you pay for loving well. So tell others about your love and the pain of your loss. Remember that it is normal for these inner feelings to linger, and there is nothing wrong with feeling this way for weeks, months, or longer. Allow the process to unfold naturally and don’t try to shorten it.
4. If after a considerable period of time you feel that you are “stuck” in your grief, which is not uncommon, go to someone who understands the complaint process or join a complaint support group. You will learn a lot about yourself and normality from what feels incredibly abnormal. Once again, you will find hope in the midst of your dark night.
5. Although grief is the root of healing, it is only one part of the healing equation. The mourner must actively work to adapt to the new living conditions. In short, he or she will have to change to adjust to the loss. This is often the most difficult challenge for the bereaved to accept.
6. By going public with your complaint, you can find help in accomplishing the most demanding part of the adjustment process: facing the pain head-on. This is where your friends and family can join you in the process of working (mourning) through the painful thoughts and feelings of loss and despair, and releasing the deep psychosocial ties to the deceased loved one.
7. Grief also means that in coping with your grief it is essential to plan specific times when you try to recharge your energy levels by temporarily diverting attention from your great loss. It’s perfectly fine to get away from mourning to rest and treat yourself.
Every day do something just for you that you enjoy. Do not take this suggestion lightly: It is essential for your emotional and physical health. By turning your attention to supporting yourself, you’ll be loosening your grip on the all-consuming grievance.
In short, there is a lot to learn about the process of adjusting to loss and change, especially since grief and bereavement are demanding, requiring mourners to do what they don’t like to do. However, doing the unpleasant is unavoidable, if the mourner wants to reinvest in life and move to the new world without the physical presence of the deceased.