Bridezilla Types – Which Are You?
If you spend a lot of time feeling frustrated and angry at other people because “they just don’t understand how important this is to me,” you’ve probably become a girlfriendzilla.
Bridezillas can typically come in two varieties: the passive and the active.
Passive Bridezillas can use guilt to create action in other people. They pout, they cry, they get depressed. Passive girlfriends sigh and look somber; they try to make other people feel guilty so that they perform up to their internal standard of perfection.
We recently heard from a bride in a bridal shop. “Dad,” she said wistfully. “I wish she could be the most beautiful girlfriend in the world. But she’s fine. I know you and mom are doing your best.”
Oh! Of course, the father of the bride increased the budget and got her the dress he wanted. But the interaction was not fair. The father had felt guilty digging deeper into his pockets for the wedding. Looking back, will it have been worth it? Should he trade her father’s comfort for a particular wedding dress? By the way, if she had gone a little further down the shelf, she would have seen an almost identical dress that was within her father’s budget.
The most famous Bridezilla is, of course, the active variety.
Active girlfriends use a false sense of power to force people to do what they want. Remember, all of this stems from a compelling need for perfection. The active bride screams, demands and expects everyone around her to put everything else in her life aside and help her achieve her perfect wedding.
The active girlfriendzilla has lost the ability to see that providers have busy workloads, family members have lives of their own, and friends have few hours on any given day. Active girlfriends are likely to explode when something doesn’t meet their idea of perfection.
One day we heard a girlfriend in a bakery. “I don’t know what’s wrong with you,” she said furiously. “I want my cake to have seven layers, not six!” Was there another way she could have handled this situation? Are there really any lifetime consequences for having a cake with six layers instead of seven? Should everyone in the establishment have to deal with her outburst?
o Bridezillas are powder kegs of emotion. Yes, being emotional during the wedding process is normal, but feeling like you’re going to absolutely explode if a detail doesn’t go your way is not. Remember, we give brides some room for the emotional roller coaster; but basic manners and consideration for others still apply. You’re still not supposed to yell at other people, or make them feel guilty so they’ll do something! You are still expected to try to be kind and considerate (at least most of the time). You are still expected to show respect and concern for others.
So sit back, breathe and recover.
o You may need to confide in others about your fears, stress, sadness, excitement, pressure, or whatever else you feel along the way, so you don’t turn into a girlfriend. Keep the channels of communication open with your fiancé, family, and friends!
o You may need to push yourself every day to do some type of stress and relaxation exercises.
o Be sure to take care of yourself physically: diet, exercise, and sleep.
o Seek professional help if needed, sometimes it is! Do it well.
o And remember that perfection does not always equal happiness. Do your best and others will too.
Be yourself
This is your wedding, your beautiful commitment to another and
you will want to enjoy it, savor it and have great memories as much as you can!