I need help fixing my marriage now! – Think outside the box!
When her marriage, which she thought would last forever, is disintegrating before her very eyes, she becomes desperate for answers but doesn’t know where to turn. So, frustrated and angry, he yells “I need help fixing my marriage now!” If he can identify with this problem, then he should stop what he’s doing, take a deep breath, and listen.
I too was in a similar situation a couple of years ago and was desperate to find a way to save my marriage from a certain divorce. It was hard for me to think, let alone think clearly. So I started a series of reckless strategies to try to get my wife back. These included:
1) giving in to my wife’s wishes and demands, even though this was not what I wanted
2) trying to get my wife to accept full responsibility and admit where they went wrong
and the best of all
3) begging my wife to take me back
All these strategies did was get my wife away from me!
I was frantically searching for answers and it wasn’t until I realized that emotional actions were getting me nowhere fast that I understood the need to try another alternative if I wanted to save my marriage from divorce. I had learned that every negative action on my part resulted in a negative reaction from my wife. I desperately needed to change the situation to make sure that everything I did or said would result in a positive reaction from her, no matter how hard it was, since I was determined to fight for my marriage. I decided to try a different approach in the form of rational thinking.
I focused on staying calm in situations where I would have been stressed and angry before. I took time to get away from the conflict until I had thought things through and was able to act in a positive and calm manner. I stopped blaming my wife and instead started working together to solve the problems, one step at a time, until I was able to gain some trust with my wife.
Slowly but surely my relationship began to turn the corner. Two years have passed and my marriage is even stronger than ever and most importantly, I have my wife back!