Living with someone with PTSD
Living with someone who has PTSD can be a full-time balancing act, or it can be easily managed, depending on your approach. People who have PTSD can experience very negative symptoms, so their behavior can include isolating themselves and lashing out at others. If you have a roommate who has PTSD, you don’t have to tread carefully in an effort to get along. Proper planning and direct communication contribute to a friendly life experience.
There are standard practices for any living arrangement. Paying bills on time, keeping common areas clean, and respecting each other’s space are all good roommate practices. If you live with someone who has PTSD, there is no reason why these rules cannot be followed.
Most of the problems you may encounter may have to do with temperament and personal preferences. People who have PTSD can have extreme mood swings. Outbursts of anger are not uncommon, which means your roommate could explode without warning.
You will need to set limits if this comes up and let your roommate know that this is not acceptable. Having PTSD is not an excuse for bad behavior.
It is not uncommon for those with this disorder to be able to function reasonably well in the workplace, but collapse when at home. Some people keep to themselves, preferring to hide in their rooms and sleep for days when they don’t need to do anything else. Conversely, some people with this disorder prefer to be awake at night and asleep during the day. This could be contrary to your schedule if you have a regular nine to five job. Your roommate may do a lot of things that seem strange to you, like sleeping more than usual or spending a lot of time watching TV or playing video games. If you find this irritating, you may need to assess whether your roommate really isn’t living up to their end of the bargain, or if you’re bothered by your roommate’s personal preferences.
Does your roommate pay rent on time? Do they maintain the house in a reasonable manner? Do they keep you up all night or invade your space? If the answers to these questions are correct, consider yourself lucky. You have found a good roommate.
As a roommate, ask yourself where your responsibilities lie. Is it your responsibility to get this person out of the house when they are isolating? Is it your responsibility to tell another adult when it is okay to go to bed and when to be awake? Is it up to you to agree or disagree with how they choose to spend their time? Lean to distinguish between a cleaning problem and a personal reference.
Living with someone who has PTSD can be challenging and confusing at times. Sometimes you have to use a lot of critical thinking, common sense and flexibility. Ultimately, education is the key to dealing with someone who suffers from PTSD. Once you know what PTSD really is and what to expect, negotiating a living arrangement can be simple and rewarding for both parties.