The problems adolescents face and how to help them

After 20 years of concern about the status of girls raised by the women’s movement, some experts say it is the boys we should turn our attention to now. This crisis is one in which the traditional patriarchy lived by boys and men “is being transformed, leading men to generate a second discourse -of impotence and frustration- that differs markedly from the [previous] confident displays of authority.” There are disturbing statistics to back up this concern. Girls now outnumber boys entering college, and boys are four times more likely to drop out of high school than girls. Four boys are diagnosed with emotional disorders for every girl Six boys are diagnosed with attention deficit disorder for every girl Boys commit suicide five times more often than girls.

Up to 16% of children are diagnosed with a disruptive behavior disorder. Of those diagnosed with oppositional defiant disorder, 25-40% will develop conduct disorder and almost half of these will have antisocial personality disorder in adulthood. Behavior disorders are characterized by having instability in school, work, relationships, and finances. Behavioral disorders include problems such as bullying, bullying, fighting, cruelty to people and animals, illegal carrying of weapons, theft, drug use, truancy, running away, and arson. These children often have low self-esteem and are very unhappy.

Economically, behavioral disorders cost society as a whole a great deal. 30% of consultations with general practitioners are for behavioral problems and are present in 28% of pediatric outpatient referrals. The education of children with behavioral problems often requires placement in special schools with a low teacher-pupil ratio and constant supervision that increases the costs of their education. Police, probation and social services spend a great deal of energy and money fighting crime and its effects. There are also the costs of property damage, medical bills for personal injuries, and the subsequent costs of unemployment, welfare, and maintenance of the prison system.

If left untreated in adolescence, adult manifestations of behavioral disorders may include alcoholism, depression, drug addiction, antisocial personality disorder, theft, illegal carrying and use of weapons, violence toward oneself, others, and towards property, drunk driving, vandalism, unemployment, child abuse, divorce and spousal violence.

But don’t let all these statistics get you down! Let them inspire you to have children who never face these problems because there is much that parents can do to help their children.

don’t embarrass them

One of the most important things is for parents to avoid shaming them. Many parents are very hard on their children because children need to be “tough” to survive in our world. This is certainly true; however, when children are made to feel bad about their emotions or need for support, it actually weakens rather than strengthens them. Guys who seem to be able to handle the harsh world they live in without a problem are actually more in touch with their emotions than are withdrawn, antisocial, nerdy, and bullied guys.

Work first on yourself, then on the relationship with your child

Many parents are exasperated with their children, but often their children’s problems stem from their parents. Nobody wants to admit that they have problems and, what is worse, their problems affect their children. When you’re having a nasty fight with your spouse, yelling at your kids, or (God forbid) abusing them, a workaholic who’s never home or the silent parent who’s physically home but not home emotionally, do you Are you surprised that your child is getting in trouble? Which brings us to the next topic.

Recognize the signs of depression in children

There are many reasons for depression in children: divorce, death of a loved one, falling behind in school, chemical imbalances, etc. When people think of depression, they usually think of someone who is sad, listless, who cries a lot. However, in our culture children are not allowed to act like this (they have to be tough), so they express their sadness with anger. They act instead of acting. Signs of male depression are: getting into trouble, getting into fights, breaking things, wearing a lot of black, self-destructive behaviors, yelling, etc. A child who acts like this is not “troublesome,” “oppositional,” “challenging,” or just plain mean, but rather depressed, sad, and lonely and desperately in need of help.

Spend time with your children and let them know that you love them.

Our children are desperate to spend time with us. Yes, even our bratty teens who claim we embarrass them. Young people who are at risk are afraid. They are afraid that if they open up and tell their parents that they need their love and attention, they will be rejected, just like the rest of us are. As parents, we must realize that our children need our love and attention no matter what they say. And really, the more our children say they don’t need our love, the more they really do.