Unpack the anger before your vacation
With spring break upon us, we’re heading into a travel season in full swing. Shortly after spring break ends, summer break begins. I don’t know about you, but some people seem hell-bent on turning vacations into paramilitary excursions. They have schedules, itineraries, agendas, budgets, goals, supply inventories, and checkpoints. Yuck! This would drive me crazy. I love vacations that take me away from these things. Just getting to and from any vacation can be a job. So what happens when the time you’re supposed to spend “chilling out” turns into another job, demand, or obligation? You guessed it: someone is going to lose their cool.
Have you ever been kicked off your flight? Have you ever had a flat tire on a long drive or lost your wallet while traveling? The holidays are the best time for anger to get out of control.
When we travel, things go wrong and make simple problems ten times bigger than normal. We forget or lose an important personal item. Once, on a weekend trip, my wife forgot her prescribed allergy medicine. Suddenly, a simple trip to the pharmacy turned into a big project. I remember other vacations with friends where our truck was stuck in a ravine for most of the trip.
When things surprise us during the holidays, our usual protections can become ineffective. Along the way, the potential for these problems increases dramatically. Still, we Americans love to travel. We are more spread out than other countries, except perhaps Canada, so vacations, family events, and vacations generally mean traveling by car or plane to our destinations.
If you’re planning a vacation trip to reduce your stress level, you may be expecting too much from the trip. Traveling does not reassure people. It often makes the tension worse. Now, I’m not advocating that people stop taking vacations to exciting and fun destinations. However, I am advocating for a better approach to vacations.
As someone who doesn’t like to be rushed, I like to make sure my vacation really rejuvenates me. Going “around the world” in two weeks is NOT a rest plan. It’s a plan for a heart attack or an outburst of rage. Here’s a short list of things to consider to reduce stress and help make your vacation a smooth one instead of a seasonal career change:
1. Limit the number of events you plan to attend. Take some time to “savor” an experience. If the experience gets boring, you can always add something, but if it’s better than you imagined, you don’t want to shorten it by an abstract agenda. Vacations are for “relaxing and enjoying.”
2. Make room in your schedule to change it if someone else can’t keep their emotions to themselves. Remember, other people will be stressed by overplanning your trip to the same destination.
3. Minimize alcohol consumption. Nothing ruins a break faster than someone who is out of control. There are other ways to relax that are safer and much more effective.
4. Make the experience about the experience, not the expense. If you have a list of souvenir addicts at home, order things online when you get home. Your vacations are your time, not that of others
weather. He wouldn’t want his spouse to stop a romantic evening dinner to take a business call. He doesn’t let his family keep him from getting the rest he needs.
5. State your vacation goals to the rest of your group. If your children want an exciting and action-packed vacation, but you want to sunbathe on a terrace, this will only create conflicts that spoil everyone’s good time, including yours. You may want to plan two separate vacations: one for the kids and one for yourself. If you really need to rest, plan on taking yours first to be “in the mood” for your good weather.
6. Be in your own vacation photos and take fewer of them. Do not take all the photos because it seems that you were not there. Be part of the history of the trip. Many places record videos for you. Let them, while you enjoy the experience.
If you’re having trouble planning a vacation without getting angry or stressed, visit www.angremanagementbakersfield.com or on Facebook: Ken Bomar, MS CART.