Why do I keep going back to my narcissistic emotional abuser?
When you are in a relationship with a narcissistic emotional abuser, you must remember that these individuals are very deliberate and calculated. If you are in a relationship with a narcissistic emotional abuser over the age of 30, they have figured out a woman’s weaknesses and will come forward with three main hooks.
The first hook is financial security with the narcissistic emotional abuser talking a lot about how they are going to support you in a way that they say you could never support yourself.
The second hook will be to provide you with the house or apartment of your dreams.
The third hook will include things like traveling to the beach and/or driving dream cars.
These are three of the basic hooks that “catch” you. Being biological and having natural urges, most of the time (unless you have strong convictions regarding sex outside of marriage) you will become sexually involved in a short period of time.
Getting sexually involved triggers strong emotions that make you think you are “in love” and that “this” is the person for you.
However, you are not in a relationship with a human who is within the 96% of the human race. You are in a relationship with a human being who is in the top 4% of the population and therein lies the challenge.
You can spend time learning about narcissism, which will help you identify the various traits of the person you are in a relationship with. However, he realizes that he continues to spend valuable time and, at the end of the day, the knowledge does not solve why he is on the merry-go-round and roller coaster he so desperately wants to get off.
Investing time in self-analysis to identify what it is that has you hooked would be a much more productive use of your limited time. If you are at the point in your relationship that led you to ask yourself, “Why do I keep going back to my narcissistic emotional abuser?” then you have invested all these months and possibly years where you could have been laughing instead of crying. Isn’t it time to stop and learn about yourself?
There are three main hooks presented in this article, however there are others you may identify that are specific to your situation. Once you identify your “hook,” consider the ways that you, without the narcissistic emotional abuser, might satisfy these particular desires. Remember, there are 96% of other humans on the planet who are not narcissists.